What can I say. I had violin lesson today and it was only today my teacher realised my exam is in june wtf. So after all these months she was teaching at a really slow pace. I'm all stressed out rn w myes, violin exam and MEP concert audition cus apparently im the school's 'last hope' or wtv they say. I'm scared. I really am. I'm afraid that I will fail my violin exam and waste my parent's money and I will cry :( I will never be able to lift my head up anymore, let alone face my peers.

And i've this feeling that some of my classmates are starting to hate me. I see some of them at the bus stop and they don't look too happy to see me, as though my existence was a hindrance for their happiness. I feel really confused as idk what have I done to offend them, but I really hope that there would not be any bitch fight or whatsover. Therefore I talk to them lesser nowadays lest they really ignore me and stuff and I dont want it to happen as it will affect my emotion wellbeing. Maybe I should stop being so noisy in class so they would notice me less and have less reasons to hate me.

MYEs starting day after tmr.. And I haven't started studying for real and im scared that I will fail oh shit this I will fail terribly. I don't want to take combined sciences and drop amath :( it means no chance of entering a good JC, or even a JC to begin with. Ohwells, studying w chloe tmr I hope it goes well :)

I should stop here now and sleep early ok.


Sometimes you gotta have to lose.

Okay so the Mid-years are coming and I'm scared. What if I fail oh super terribly and get an L1R5 of like 17 I'll cry.

I have so many things on my mind right now I don't know where to begin. Firstly, the mid-years, secondly, my violin exam and expectations of me by teachers, classmates and parents. Can you believe this, in term 1 all my classmates thought I was damn smart or something. One of them even expected me to get an L1R5 of 8 are you kidding me that just goes to show how others look at me as a person and as a classmate.

And my violin exam is prolly coming idk when the exact date is I am not prepared at all I think I'm going to fail my diploma. I really want to do something about this but I have no time ok no one understands and every week I attend violin lessons and although she doesn't show it I know my violin teacher is disappointed in me :( And I dont know how to make her proud. Yes I need to practice where can I find the time to? I have tuitions or CCA every day which means I only have the night to study/homework and by the time I'm done its alr too late to practice. What if I fail my diploma :( I'll be wasting my parent's money and how will everyone look at me I'll get judged and juniors will look down on me wow ok.

To make things worse tong chose me to rep school to perform at the annual MEP concert. And there are auditions what if I dont get thru the principal will be disappointed in me and tong and goh and my classmates and my parents and when word goes round it'll be so humilating :(

After my MYE i will practice my violin ok reality sucks but yes this is the life I chose and there's no turning back.

Labels: PRETTYANT

Having a seriouse case of post-OBS depression rn. Didnt think I would miss OBS that much.

That feeling, where you really really miss something and want it sooo much but deep in your heart you know that there's actually nothing you can do? yeaps, I'm feeling that rn. Didnt want to post this on my tumblr in case Ah Ben starts to stalk Cook again and finds my tumblr :X So I shall post it here (:

The time now is 1035pm and if i were still in OBS we would prolly be having the night circle or smth and reflecting on the past events of the day. Somehow I just miss the area around the medical centre :\ hahaha okcan

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Firdaus finally came back! initially thot that we wouldnt have to suffer under smahon anymore BUT SHE IS STILL TEACHING US WTF OKAY I THINK SMAHON AND FIRDAUS REALLY CONTRADICT YOURSELF.

1) Smahon says that we must sit with our legs closed ; not open legs too wide < Firdaus stands with his legs wide open

2) Firdaus says both he and she are generous in giving marks < Smahon says she's not generous

3) Firdaus said there are 4 impt points in doing newspaper cutting > Smahon claims there are only 3.

Wonder how they are going to work tgt for the rest of the year...

I'm really really missing OBS right now.

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I miss OBS
I miss Ah Ben :(
I miss my classmates
I miss Cook
I miss pitching tents
I miss morning games
I miss the insect repellent smell
I miss singing magic flute to people who would actually listen
I miss dancing in an open space by myself
I miss trekking
I miss the forest
I miss Pulau Ubin :(
I miss the sea
I miss life jackets
I miss ponchos
I miss changing into my sport shoes every morning
I miss camp 1
I miss the 1.5 litre bottles
I miss the cold night w/o fans or aircons
I miss sleeping w my friends
I miss having bread and biscuits for bfast and lunch
I miss block 10
I miss the helmet and harness
I miss the jetty
I miss block 1
I miss OBS!

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Hi guys I just came back from camp and it was the bomb! Had a great instructor, did kayaking, trekking and rock-climbing. It was really fun and tiring but I kinda miss it :( I miss my instructor and is disturbed by the fact that we will never see him again.

Super tired now haha bye I have no mood for anything

Labels: PRETTYANT

Today kinda sucked,
fooled around w Chloe at while promoting. In the midst of doing so I placed one of my pamphlets into a dummy's mouth hahahaha. That dummy belonged to red cross. Told peiyi and the rest, and Jiayin went to play some songs to the dummy HAHAHAHA best.

Then later, I think their squad leader or what came and scolded me. Saying that I was insulting their CCA and disrespecting them and I was like 'ya ok, ya ok' hahaha

'How would you like it if we did the same thing to your booth?'
'idgaf'
'Do you know that this is actually very insulting to our CCA, and also disrespecting us?'
'Heck no'

And she continued ranting it out on me damn fiercely. And i guess my not-serious face pissed her off even more and before the left she told me 'AND ITS NOT FUNNY'

















And I just laughed. For God's sake I dont come from RC I come from string and we are really friendly and playful people. And I guess her scolding kinda scared me a bit. It took me like 6hours to get over it hahaha. Anyways I forgot her face and I shouldn't hold grudges against anyone because it will only make my blood pressure rise (:
Anyways Sindoori told me that the sec3s thot it wasn't bad to do so I'm kinda feeling better :)


#np One direction - One thing :)


Bought my OBS stuffs today, hope my OBS will go well AND NO ONE WILL LAUGH AT MY PANTS.

Got to do my kumon now k bye

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