What can I say. I had violin lesson today and it was only today my teacher realised my exam is in june wtf. So after all these months she was teaching at a really slow pace. I'm all stressed out rn w myes, violin exam and MEP concert audition cus apparently im the school's 'last hope' or wtv they say. I'm scared. I really am. I'm afraid that I will fail my violin exam and waste my parent's money and I will cry :( I will never be able to lift my head up anymore, let alone face my peers.

And i've this feeling that some of my classmates are starting to hate me. I see some of them at the bus stop and they don't look too happy to see me, as though my existence was a hindrance for their happiness. I feel really confused as idk what have I done to offend them, but I really hope that there would not be any bitch fight or whatsover. Therefore I talk to them lesser nowadays lest they really ignore me and stuff and I dont want it to happen as it will affect my emotion wellbeing. Maybe I should stop being so noisy in class so they would notice me less and have less reasons to hate me.

MYEs starting day after tmr.. And I haven't started studying for real and im scared that I will fail oh shit this I will fail terribly. I don't want to take combined sciences and drop amath :( it means no chance of entering a good JC, or even a JC to begin with. Ohwells, studying w chloe tmr I hope it goes well :)

I should stop here now and sleep early ok.


Sometimes you gotta have to lose.